Chosen as the OneMandated Responsible
Your Crown Overwhelms
In every family, in every friend circle, there’s that one individual designated as the “responsible” one. The expectation is that you will make sound decisions and break the tie with logical choices. You will make sure details are considered and that consequences are articulated. You are reliable, dependable, and will answer the call regardless of time of day, ignoring your current state of mind or state of being. You show up!
I find myself in this position constantly.
I find myself in this position without asking to be put there or without consenting to this designation. I have in the past, argued that someone else needed to serve in this role because I no longer wanted the accountability that comes with wearing the responsibility badge. My protest stems from the imbalance that exists between those of us always called and those from our inner circles that are never called. Despite the assertion that you have already contributed or that you are not the senior member in the family or group, it goes on deaf ears. So what’s that about?
Leadership, while it can be learned and can manifest through experience, at its core, the values of leadership are innate. It is a quality that reveals itself early on, as though it is made of combustible elements pulsing out of your head for others to witness from afar. There are some things that you can’t deny! The initiative demonstrated, the directness articulated and the accountability to self, is evidence that can be corroborated even in a precocious child. Own your badge and wear it with pride! You’ve been empowered!
“Empowered” is defined as someone who has been made stronger and more confident, especially in the aspect of controlling their life and claiming their rights. “Give (someone) the authority or power to do something” (source Google). “Leadership” is defined as “the action of leading a group of people or an organization” (source Google). So Empowered Leadership can be interpreted, based solely on the above definitions, as confident leading or leading with authority. But it is so much more, in my opinion.
Empowered leadership is more than confidence. It’s leading with courage. It embodies owning the authority and position, whether bestowed upon you by others or self-proclaimed, and allowing your authentic voice to be heard on the designated platform you lead. This leader owns each opportunity to bring vision to others and to open the lines of communication that may exist. Articulate a mission, clarify and align shared goals, and deliver a strategy to get there.
The empowered leader is familiar with setting boundaries, delegating, and acknowledging when they must say “no”. As difficult as it may be, especially when dealing with family or friends, saying “no” is necessary. It also allows others to step forward in unexpected ways. I’ve learned that you can’t lead if you are inundated with requests and problems to solve. The enormity of some situations can leave the best of leaders immobile, unable to prioritize, and ineffective in their actions. Give yourself permission to prioritize you.
If you are the chosen one, whom everyone goes to first, chances are you’ve rubbed off onto someone close by. Empowered leadership includes modeling behaviors that others want to emulate. Build your bench and share the burden, the responsibility, the accountability and the satisfaction of knowing it will get done.
Thanks for spending time with me…Barbara
Barbara Ross Miller 